Here With You

In October of 2009, I moved my wife and two daughters to Tacoma Washington. We took a staff position at an amazing church called Tacoma Foursquare Church. Unfortunately, in this particular move, God asked us to leave a town, a home, a church, and friends that we did not want to part with. For any of you that have gone through this type of a move, you know how difficult it is emotionally on your entire family.
Then, to add more difficulty to this entire equation, we had to move into my in-laws house for a two month period... Don’t get me wrong. I love my in-laws very much. Jim & Lesli are literally some of my best friends in the entire world. I mean, I took a vacation to Mazatlan Mexico with just my father-in-law... That has to say something about how much we like each other. But no matter how great we get along, mixing lives and living styles is not an easy thing.
Now for this next part, I am going to be really “True-Faced” with you. I am going to share my deep feelings about this situation and about my reactions to God for asking this move of me and my family.
As I left our home on Bowmont Ave in Kelso, pulled onto Brightstar way in Olympia, and began unpacking my life into a single bedroom, upstairs in my in-laws house, I began to become angry with God. Began to ask questions. Why do you hate me God? Why do you continually ask me to start over? Why does everyone else get to live in the same place their entire lives while I have to move every several years? I began to really resent the ministry. I began to feel upset about the entire road I have traveled in ministry just to find myself with NOTHING! At least that’s what I thought.. NOTHING? Wow. What a funny way to look at what I had. I didn’t realize what God was trying to show me. What he was trying to teach me.
Through everything that I had experienced in an entire life of ministry, I didn’t realize that I was really screwed up. Screwed up from being hurt repeatedly by church people & hurt by stupid decisions I’d made over the years. I was screwed up! There isn’t a better way to put it.
As I began to unpack more than just a suit case, I quickly discovered that God was at work in my life. He had brought me to a place where he could really get my attention. A place where I couldn’t do anything for myself. A place where I would, for the first time, actually rely on Him. It was in this very place where he gave me this song.

“Here with you”
Here with you, I’m finding all I need
Here with you, I’m humbled by the grace you give
From the depths of the grave you heard my cry
As an offering I give to you my life and sing

Thank you Lord for you are good
Your love endures forever
Thank you Lord for you are good
Your love endures forever

I sing praises to your name of Lord
I sing praises to you

That one moment...

I love that one moment as a worship pastor, when you look out into the eyes of the congregation and see that look. The look when they begin to understand. Understand what it really means to worship. When they begin to grasp that worship is more than just words on a screen. More than just guitar licks and vocal blending. It's a life spent praising the one who gives us the freedom we know. It's time spent with God and it has NOTHING to do with us and EVERYTHING to do with him...

Worship... It's life! It's freedom...